Happiness

Image thanks to AD-Passion

Have you ever felt down in the dumps about yourself or your life? I know I have at some point. I've felt like not getting out of bed some mornings even though I know I should. Sometimes it's the things in life which make you unhappy, that you don't realise, but happiness doesn't just come to you instantly. There are ways of working towards being happy and appreciating what you have got. Remember, even the most successful people go through stages of unhappiness but not doubt feel happy about their life.

Be optimistic.

Optimism versus pessimism, which way to go?

It's been scientifically proven that people who are pessimistic are much more likely to suffer from depression later on in life than people who are optimistic. Why? People who are pessimistic tend to think that bad things happen because it was their fault and that this will never change. They blame themselves for things which could have been out of their control and feel that they happen for a reason. By thinking this way, we are training our brain to constantly put ourselves down and no wonder by thinking this way it makes us depressed!

Optimistic people believe that bad things happen for a reason, but that it is only a small hiccup and things will improve. They believe that certain aspects contributed to the event and that there is always next time to try again.

So which of these two sounds more like you? If you are pressimistic type person, do not worry. It is only a state of mind! You can train yourself to think optimistically and positively, why would you not want to? Being optimistic has been proven to be the key to success and happiness. Not only do optimistic people cope better with stress, they also tend to have healthier lifestyles and cope better when problems arise.

How do you go about training your brain to be optimistic, and in turn being more happy? By thinking things like "I didn't get the job because I've only been there for 6 months" rather than, "I didn't get the job because I am a woman" helps you to change the way you think. Next time you come across a set back, don't think like a pessimist, think optimistically!! Have a read of this article which looks at optimism versus pessimism.

Affirmations.

We've all seen films, soaps, etc. where people stand in front of mirrors repeating phrases at least ten times so that they believe it. And even though it may seem unecessary at the time, this really works. The idea is that by repeating a certain phrase to yourself enough times every day, you eventually come to believe it.

So is there something in your life which you aren't happy with and which you could improve on? For example, do you feel inadequate sometimes, or feel unpopular? The best way to resolve these problems is by reflecting on your life, find what is not so good and work on it! For example, "I am a fab friend and lots of people like me" rather than "I fail at being a good friend and no wonder people don't like me". The latter sounds awful!

But one thing to take into account is that by repeating these phrases to yourself doesn't instantly make you more popular or make you better at things. You have to know it. By repeating something like "I am a famous rock star" isn't going to change your situation, it has to be realistic and be something which you believe wholey in. Put all your effort into thinking these things, make them realistic and believe in them and you are on the way to a happier you.

Set yourself goals.

I bet there have been times when you've been told to set goals at work or at university and you've thought, what's the point? I used to think exactly this way up until about a year ago when I realised that setting goals are awesome ways of improving yourself in a realistic time frame and make you feel so much happier! Without goals, we become boring, dull people who strive at nothing and fall straight into routines. Without goals, we have no ambition and no way of getting out of this rut.

Sitting down and writing down all your goals is a start. Make them as ambitious as you like, but remember that if you don't achieve your goals you will give up. Set time limits for your goals you've just written and also write down how you are going to acheive them. Putting them down on paper brings them to life and tells you that you can reach them.

Improving things which you know you are not so good at will also lead you on your way to happiness. For example, do you leave things to the last minute? One of your goals could be to plan your time effectively and by buying a diary you can do it. Once you achieve this
you will instantly feel better and it will motivate you to a better you!

Get involved in your community, university, work, et.c

Humans are naturally social creatures and by being more involved with other people makes us feel valued and worthy. Even if it's volunteering one day a week, or maybe going to some of the social groups being run by your university, they all go a long way. You will meet new people, make new best friends and who knows? The sky is the limit. Even getting a part time job can help, as not only will you feel happier about yourself, but you will gain confidence and be able to apply it to different situations.

Being grateful.

It's very easy to think about what we haven't got and being negative. But thinking about the things we have got allows us to realise how lucky we are in our lives and always lets you see positively. For example, I am at university studying for something I love doing, have a part time job which gives me much needed money and have wonderful family and friends. Even just thinking about this for a few seconds has instantly make me realise how lucky I am and makes me want to tell everyone how much I apprecieate them! And, I get a warm feeling in my stomach!

Why not give it a try? Next time you have a spare minute, like first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed. Or even whil doing your hair/make up. Maybe you could start writing it down in your blogs, journal, diaries etc. and try and get into a habit of it. I bet you will feel instantly better for doing it and will help you on your way to happiness. Just remember that happiness is not something you can instantly gain.

Be yourself.

Trying to please other people or trying to be someone you're not cannot and will not make you happy. Being yourself is the one thing you can do to learn to love yourself and enjoy every minute you can because being someone you're not only pleases those around you. Remember that you are you, and deep down you know who you are so stop trying to please other people. Just think what you would do if one day you woke up and you were famous, or you instantly had millions of pounds to spend. These things, although to a certain degree, bring short-term happiness, they do not change the person inside.

Another great tip I have come across is when thinking about who you are, don't dwell on the negative things. Think positively and remember, would you say the things you say to yourself, to a close friend or family member? Learning to Love yourself here.

We are all unique and we do not need to fit in with certain groups to be happy.


So I hope this has make you realise that being happy is something to be worked on, but it IS achievable and we all deserve to be happy!